Heading on a plane to Spain for our ‘babymoon’

Sorry I’ve been awol, I have SO much to update you on. However in keeping with the time line of the blog and to get you up to speed, I’ll fill you in on the last two months of my pregnancy 🙂

It was great for Ste and I to head to Spain, the stresses of the house were getting to us and Stephen had of course been working since I’d arrived from Australia, so it was nice knowing that for the next week I’d be able to spend some quality time with him. Also, I was super excited to introduce Ste to my granny, and for him to get to know my mum a bit better.

mum

Due to the whirl wind nature of our romance, it added a lot of pressure onto us in terms of introducing each other to our families and friends – hell Stephen’s mum found out that he was having a baby with a women she’d never met, same for my granny with Ste. My granny is so important to me, she helped to raise me and I have so much respect for her. It meant the world to me that she’d like him, so I was pretty nervous.

I think many people that we know had there reservations (which I totally understand) about the speed at which Ste and I were going and had concerns that we were jumping in feet first (which we totally were of course). I knew though, that from my family and friend’s perspective that as soon as they met him they’d totally be put at ease and ‘get it’.

This was absolutely true of my granny, she was the person that was the most vocal about her concerns, however as soon as she met Ste when we got to my mum’s villa in Villa Martin, she was put at ease immediately.

grannie

Over he course of the week we chilled by the pool, went out for dinners, Ste had drinks with my step dad (I was soba of course due to little peanut), we went to Northern Soul nights where my mum was DJing and even went to a beach party.

me and ste

It was such a great trip and it was amazing for Ste and I to just relax and enjoy each other’s company again with no pressures. We didn’t stop laughing the whole time and in a way it brought us back to just me and him and why were keen to do this together as ultimately we are best friends who fancy the pants of each other 🙂

pregnant Lisa

I would recommend a ‘baby-moon’ to anyone who is about to have their first child, amongst all the trials and tribulations (read hormones, twinges, bloating and everything else) of pregnancy, it gives you and our partner the time to step back and enjoy each other again before your bundle of joy arrives and turns life s you know it on its head…

 

Advertisements

You’ve got to be kidding me!

As we got closer to my flight back home, which I was just so excited about, my 19 week scan was looming. I was gutted that Stephen wouldn’t be there with me, mostly as I know how much he’d have loved to have experienced it too. I was ok though as lovely Anne-Marie offered to come along with me so that I wasn’t on my own. Thank goodness she did, everything was going well with the scan the baby was moving loads (practically jumping around the screen) and all the vitals were great and progressing as it should be.

All was perfect with the baby, which was such a relief. It was just when they came to scanning my ovary (or what’s left of it). There was a dark mass on the screen, which I knew from previous experience could only mean one thing… another bloody Dermoid. No I shit you not, my body had created a miracle from a dot of an ovary and now my body decided to potentially threaten the tiny dot of an ovary I had left.

ken.gif

The sonographer explained that it was relatively really small (2.5 cm) and that my obstetrician would talk to me more about how it might impact the pregnancy and y reproductive future. Great!

I phoned Stephen straight away and told him all was great with the baby but explained that I had another Dermoid cyst. I told him that I didn’t think it would be a problem, and that it wouldn’t interfere with the pregnancy at all, but that I needed to find out more from the specialist. My follow up appointment was booked with my OB a week later, which to be honest, felt like an eternity.

I kept myself busy with work over the next six days and was counting down to seeing my OB and to get answers to questions that I had (the list was growing). When the appointment came around I decided to go on my own as I feared we’d have a lot to get through. I’d also been experiencing a stabbing pain in my lower abdomen on the left hand side, just about where my ovary was, which I was keen to find out if it was normal.

I was stoked to find out that I my OB appointment was with Dr Horowitz, who’d been a senior consultant at Randwick Women’s Hospital for over 27 years, and was actually a private OB. He explained that he’d taken my case due to my significant history and even joked and asked why I hadn’t stayed in England as he’d never seen a case like mine, least of all a case that was 100% natural conception in spite of everything my body had been through.

When talking through the results of the scan, Dr Horowitz explained that he wasn’t concerned about the Dermoid at this stage as it was so small, but they’d keep a close eye on it. He determined that the stabbing pain would be from adhesions from previous surgeries and that it would probably only get worse before it got better as the pregnancy progressed – all I was able to take to dull the pain was paracetamol – great!

He also explained that he didn’t want me to have a natural labour due to the removal of the fibroid two years previous from my uterus wall. He explained that the trauma of birth on my uterus could be too much and that he simply didn’t want me to take the risk.

I must admit that when I first found out that natural labour wasn’t an option for me, I was really gutted. I wanted to experience ‘natural labour’ and knew from previous experience how are it was recovering fro abdominal surgery – I couldn’t imagine how much harder that would be with a newborn baby to care for, whilst also breastfeeding. It took a while for me to come to terms with the fact that it was the best for the baby and me, but now I totally feel at ease with the decision.

Stephen felt the same when I explained it all to him and also just wanted to do what ever is best for the baby and me. It was now eight weeks since we’d last seen each other and we were starting to feel the strain.

Not only was Stephen missing important doctors appointments, we were missing each other terribly and to say we were feeling the pressure of everything was putting it very, very mildly.

ld
Especially when 21 weeks pregnant!

Still we had only a week to wait until we were going to see each other and I had a very busy week at work, and he had lots to do on the house so it went very quickly for both of us.

I was starting to show, as I was now 21 weeks, my back was starting to feel the strain of the extra weight (despite me only putting on 2KG by this point). It was quite funny actually as I used to drink A LOT when I was a social butterfly and my diet and exercise plan was none existent. So I found that in the first 15 weeks, coupled with a significantly reduced appetite due to the nausea, I actually lost weight, typical!

My work event came and went without a hitch and after a long day managing a press junket, I went to the airport to board my flight back to the UK to be with my man.

work
Work is a great distraction – especially when your rock star team kill it!

Long Distance and Second Trimester

After a whirlwind five-week break and the most amazing time with Stephen the 16th January came by much quicker than we’d anticipated, the day his flight was booked to return home. Prior to Stephen leaving we’d had a chat about what our plan would be in terms of him coming to Australia, where we’d have the baby and what the next steps would be. I’d had quite a bit of time to think about what was best and I wanted to make sure that I was sharing the load. It didn’t go unnoticed that Stephen was prepared to give up his job, his life in Liverpool, living close to his family and of course his home!

 

I’d suggested that I go back to the UK for six week to help him to finish his house and anything else that might make the move easier on him. He agreed that this was a good idea. Due to the nature of my work, being a freelancer and running my own business, I am very fortunate that I’m flexible with my working hours and that a lot of my work can be done remotely.

I’d managed to secure a eight week contract working for a PR agency in Sydney for four days a week and that contract would finish at the beginning of Marc h. In terms of timing, this worked out perfectly. It meant that I could earn some money to pay for my trip home and to also put some savings to one side. I booked my flight back to Manchester for the 6th March, returning to Sydney on the 20th April (hopefully with Stephen in tow).

 

When he left Australia, it was really hard knowing that for the next eight weeks I would be facing the second trimester of my pregnancy without him. It was daunting, but I knew that it was all working towards a better future for our little family. I threw myself into work and we reverted back to speaking via phone calls, texts and e-mails.

 

The second trimester of my pregnancy was surprisingly easy with regards to any niggles, pains or weight gain (or anything else that comes with growing a baby).

 

I consider myself massively lucky as my best friend, who I’ve known since I was 16 and had moved to Australia the day after me in Jan 2009 had found out that she too was pregnant – and due a week before me! We just couldn’t believe it! Neither were planned pregnancies, but the parallels in both of our life stories are just uncanny and there isn’t anyone else in the world that I’d want to be going through this with. It helped me a great deal with Stephen not being there. Anne-Marie was and is a huge support and a great sounding board relating to not only pregnancy, but also matters of the heart.

lis and sprite 2

I think sometimes with me being pregnant, it was easy to forget that Stephen and I were in the throws of a relatively new relationship. We’d only been officially together since October and we were not only in January. We were learning so much about each other every day, whilst also trying to figure out our future and how we worked together as a couple.

 

I wasn’t under any disillusion that there would be family and friends that had their concerns about our relationship and how fast we were progressing. That’s’ not to say that they weren’t massively happy for us, they just wanted me to be happy and of course were very protective of me, in part due to my history. I was also astutely aware that the two times that Stephen and I had spent together hadn’t been ‘real life’ I hadn’t been working, we’d been on holiday and very much in the honeymoon period. I think we’d both be lying if we said that we didn’t have concerns about how we would function in the realm of ‘normal’ (what ever that is) day-to-day life.

 

That’s why I think it was so important for us to have the six weeks with me in the UK, living with him, him working etc. almost as a ‘warm up’ if you will for the ‘real deal’.

I don’t think I have to lament over the magnitude of the path we had ahead of us and how important it was that we did things for the right reasons and understood that we were both working towards the same end goal – to be a happy a healthy family who loved and respected each other.

 

I made the huge decision to give up my lovely Bondi studio after two amazing years there. It was far too small for a family of three (plus Louie the dog), plus I didn’t want to have to deal with the stress of finding tenants during the six weeks I was going to be in the UK. Luckily I have some fantastic friends who offered for me to stay with them over the next two months in return for puppy sitting duties and providing my great company, ha!

 

Work was going great and I even had a colleague that was due the day before me, there was definitely something in the water! It was getting harder each time I spoke to Stephen as I missed him so much, and so much of what you say over texts can be misunderstood. We had to keep reminding ourselves that we were both working towards the same end goal, which sometimes seemed so far away.